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  • Writer's picturethe SHOOPERY

a box of chocolates.....


For some people that word fills them with dread, so they spend most of their time planning everything to the finest detail. But does that actually help?

Planning can be helpful, but it can take over your life and stop you from doing things that you like. You can never plan for every eventuality because there are an infinite number of possibilities for everything! I know that sounds scary. But within those possibilities is the best possible outcome - and you could end up having the most amazing time!!!

Didn’t think about that did you?


That’s a lie. I hate surprises that don’t go well. Like those surprise gifts that are horrible or the day trip that they keep a secret that is filled with disasters because you were not prepared for it.

There have been some surprises that have really paid off though!

There was a time when I was too afraid to go outside because I didn’t know what would happen. I was in a psychiatric hospital at the time and I did exposure therapy every day to help me go outside without overwhelming fear.

However I am a massive over-thinker! So this therapy wasn’t working.

One day my community youth worker surprised me; she showed up and told me we were going for a drive. I really liked going on drives with her and she had a nice car. Plus she had driven an hour and a half to see me. She made it clear she wasn't coming in, we were going out for a drive. I had to walk out of the airlock and get in her car which was parked right outside the door. I did it! Got in her car and we went for a drive along the coast.

That’s enough surprises right?

Jess didn’t know the area and we parked up at the beach. We were just chatting shit. There was very loud thunder behind us, turns out we were sitting right by the train tracks! She had accidentally bought a suicidal person to the tracks! Lots of things could have happened right then if I had had a chance to plan the drive. But we just sat and laughed! I got back to the hospital and was so proud of myself! But I wouldn't have done any of that if I knew Jess was coming.

Because of that surprise I was able to feel more confident in keeping myself safe. I think it worked best because we were both surprised. If she had known that's what we were going to be doing I would have been able to sense something and would have got overwhelmed. It also worked for Jess because she was then more open to not planning things and just seeing what happens. I also think it worked because there was a level of trust between us.

I have to keep challenging the negative thoughts in my brain as scary as that is.

Because often those thoughts are wrong. I have noticed that I have started to say yes more, it feels uncomfortable but I am going to stick with it.

Really amazing things can happen if you step just outside of your comfort zone. You could end up starting a company trying to inspire people to Shoop!

- Alfie

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Feb 25, 2022

Thanks Alfie - what a fantastic story. Thank you for sharing it :) X

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